I don’t remember how much time I took, kissing Izaya. All I know is that, eventually, it stopped. I sat on the couch beside Izaya. We remained silent for a moment, until I turned to him. “So, you’re being blackmailed, huh?” I asked lazily, and Izaya stiffened, looking away. “Y-yeah…” He replied. “And what happens if you don’t do as “Neo” says?” I asked, and Izaya looked down, bowing his head. His back shook, as if he were about to start crying again. “If I tell you… You might get killed…” Izaya warned. I shuffled closer to him, my right leg pressing against his left, and he looked up at me in shock. I wasn’t one to tell somebody it was all gonna be okay, but this seemed different. “Do you think I can really be killed that easily?” I asked him, but he looked away again. I sighed. This is gonna be harder than I thought…
I didn’t want to tell Shizu-chan what was going on. He wasn’t supposed to get involved! No, I wasn’t supposed to get involved with him! It’s my fault for being so weak! This was my burden, and my burden alone! I felt tears in my eyes again. Dammit…! I was too weak for this… I couldn’t even think about this! I was so pathetic!
So pathetic, that Shizu-chan was able to pull me into his lap without even trying.
“H-Hey!” I protested, but his arms were locked firmly around my waist, meaning I had no escape. My face was in the crook of his neck, my legs on the couch, where I once sat. Shizu-chan’s left hand gripped my waist firmly, but he moved his right hand to the back of my head, making me look up at him. “Tell me. Now.” He demanded, and I couldn’t look away this time. Shizu-chan quickly moved his right hand to wipe away my tears, and I buried my face in his exposed chest. I couldn’t bear to face the truth of this situation. I wish I could just forget, but Neo was always there… I finally had the courage to look up at Shizu-chan, and he seemed slightly shocked at the desperate sadness in my eyes. “If I don’t do what Neo says… All the humans I love… They’ll… Ikebukuro…” I stuttered, holding back more tears. I took a deep, shaky breath, mustering up the courage to say what I had to.
“Ikebukuro will be blown up.” I blurted, burying my face in Shizu-chan’s chest again.
“I-Izaya…” Shizu-chan muttered, but I refused to look up. I sobbed as I shook my head, unable to believe myself. What had I gotten myself into? Without realising it, I began pushing Shizu-chan away, but then I kept doing it, more forcefully. I had to get away. I had to go somewhere where I wasn’t going to be so hot. Shizu-chan lost his grip as I acted suddenly, stumbling backwards. “Izaya…” Shizu-chan began, but I shook my head, grabbing my jacket, because my shirt was ripped. “No… I-I can’t… Why did I have to tell you…?!” I asked myself, pulling on the jacket. Shizu-chan stood, holding out a hand. “Izaya, please…” Shizu-chan’s voice trailed off, and if I knew Shizu-chan’s house better, I would’ve left, but I turned on my heel, heading up the stairs. “Izaya, I want to help you…!” Shizu-chan assured, following me up the stairs I stopped on one of the top steps, and Shizu-chan stopped where he was, too. “How can you possibly help me…? I shouldn’t be… I shouldn’t be wanting your comfort! I shouldn’t have told you! This never should’ve happened… Wh-why…? WHY CAN’T EVERYTHING JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS?!” I yelled, surprising myself. I didn’t care what time it was. I didn’t get to yell like this often, so forgive me if I was yelling. I screwed my eyes shut, yelling at no one in particular. “Why can’t we just go back to fighting like we used to?! You can throw garbage cans or vending machines or STOP signs or - ” I began, but I stopped as a pair of strong hands grabbed my waist and lifted me off the ground. I opened my eyes as Shizu-chan hoisted me over his shoulder, walking to the top of the stairs, down a hallway. “Stop worrying about all that shit. I’m going to help you… Whether you like it or not.” Shizu-chan assured, and I found that I didn’t quite know how to react. “Sh-Shizu - ” I began, but Shizu-chan squeezed me tighter, crushing my ribs. “No. Stop calling me that.” He ordered firmly. Why did he have to be so controlling? “Wh-why… Would you want to help me…?” I stuttered. Shizu-chan’s life was on the line here. He was already in danger, so I saw no reason why he would want to take it any further. “You’re carrying more pressure than you can handle.” Shizu-chan replied. “I’m perfectly fine in carrying it myself…!” I argued, but Shizu-chan just rolled his eyes. “If that was the case, why did you start crying? Was that all for nothing?” Shizu-chan questioned, and I forced myself to look down, my face in his back. “Thought that’d make you shut up.” Shizu-chan pointed out, chuckling slightly. I punched his back lightly, kicking a little. “If you’re going to tease me, just let me go~~…!” I practically begged, making Shizu-chan laugh as he, surprisingly, did as I asked. I looked around. We were in… Oh, god…! No! Not good, not good ~~! I was in… In…
I watched in mild amusement as Izaya looked around my bedroom worriedly. What did he think I was gonna do?! Rape him?! Like hell! To prove I was innocent, I went and sat on the edge of my bed, leaving the door open. “Any idea who this “Neo” is, then?” I asked Izaya, who stared out the window, looking at the busy streets below. “If I did, do you think I’d have this problem?” Izaya answered, somewhat annoyed. He had a point there. “Let’s face it, if they want info on the Dollars, as you said, they’re not going to be from the Dollars.” I suggested, and Izaya nodded. “I already came to that conclusion.” He replied. “I believe that they’re from the Yellow Scarves, and if they’re using a voice changer of such a high quality that I can’t decipher it, they must have a fair bit of money in their pocket.” Izaya added. Damn, the flea was right. I wish I had his brains! “You think it’s the leader of the Yellow Scarves?” I asked, and Izaya nodded. “I went to speak with Masaomi Kida the other day, the ex-leader… But he can’t lie, I know that. His face changes. He was telling the truth when he said he had no idea what was going on.” Izaya offered, still staring out the window, like a moth to a light, but then he smirked, ruffling his hair a bit as he closed his eyes in mild amusement. “It seems that the Yellow Scarves…” He began, then he faced me, opening his eyes.
“Have a new leader.”
I could feel my usual smirk on my lips again, and it felt good. Ever since Neo had contacted me… That smirk had disappeared. Why was it that when I was with Shizu-chan, I was able to smile so easily? “As the information broker of Ikebukuro, I should’ve known that they had a new leader… Neo wouldn’t have just started blackmailing me as soon as he became leader…” I wondered aloud, looking at Shizu-chan’s reactions by glancing at his reflections in the window. Most of the humans were gone now, the last of them scurrying off to their little homes. I sighed, leaning my head against the window. “I’ve been slacking off…!” I muttered to myself angrily. I screwed my eyes shut, forcing my head against the glass harder. If I had Shizu-chan’s strength, I would certainly break the glass and jump… Wait… What…?!
D-did I just… I did. I just thought of committing suicide. I shouldn’t be considering that! My mind flashed back to that time I stopped a girl from jumping, when I held her hand, and she stared at the cars, emotionless. Was that girl still alive? I mocked so many people who joined suicide groups… I drugged drinks just to scare people… I was scared of death for so long… Why… Why was I thinking about this?! My sisters… They didn’t want to die, so why would I?! If I killed myself… Would Neo still blow up the city? If he did, I would be sent to hell. If he didn’t, it would’ve been worth it, right? I could feel tears threaten to roll down my cheeks as they welled up in the corners of my eyes. Yes. If I could just jump…
I felt Shizu-chan’s arms snake around my waist.
I jumped a little, but his strong arms held me in place, and were somewhat comforting. “It’s nearly 4:30… We should get some rest…” Shizu-chan muttered, sounding suddenly tired. “How can I sleep when a whole city rests in my hands?” I asked, but Shizu-chan shook his head. “Don’t blame this on yourself. Neo’s the one holding the explosives, and I doubt he’s up. The fucktard doesn’t deserve it, but he’ll be dreaming right now.” Shizu-chan assured, and I closed my eyes as I sighed. “You’re right…” I replied, leaning the back of my head on his chest. Shizu-chan hugged me firmly, then lifted my slightly, making me grip his forearms. “H-hey…” I argued weakly as Shizu-chan walked backwards. I kicked my legs a little, but Shizu-chan just squeezed tighter, making me exhale as he threw me on his bed. “I’ll get you something to sleep in.” He offered. I merely kicked off my shoes, letting them thump to the floor at the foot of the bed. I closed my eyes, snuggling into the mattress, which was surprisingly soft. “I’ll be f-fine in this…” I assured, but Shizu-chan just made a “Psh” sound, and I felt something soft land on my face. “I’m going to get changed in the bathroom… So get changed quickly.” Shizu-chan explained as I sat up, looking at the short-sleeved, grey shirt and loose, dark red pants. I began to unzip my jacket, and I saw Shizu-chan’s face redden just before he slammed the door shut to get changed. I chuckled a little as I sighed. How immature, Shizu-chan~~…! You’re like a teenager trapped in a 22-year-old’s body~~…! I began to unzip my jeans after I slipped on the shirt, which was rather loose. I hope Shizu-chan wasn’t one to dress quickly, or I’d be really rather embarrassed~~. Wait… Dammit, now I‘m acting like a teenager, too! The dull hum of cars zooming past occasionally was rarer than what it had been just a moment ago. It seemed that even the beautiful humans were being affected by the sudden tiredness that had overcome Shizu-chan and I as well. Being the time that it was, this was probably the quietest that this city would get. By 6 o’clock in the morning, people will be mumbling insults at their alarm clocks before setting off to work. Or school. Or whatever. People can say that they’re as individual as they want, but all humans follow the same basic path around here. Wake up, eat, have a shower if they want, school or work, lunch, more school or work, get home, slack off, eat, sleep, and repeat. Every goddamn day.
I slipped on the pants, finding they nearly fell off my hips. I sighed and lied back on the bed, closing my eyes. I could hear Shizu-chan humming slightly. It was relaxing. I heard the door open, followed by Shizu-chan’s footsteps. I kept my eyes closed, because it’d be a pain to open them. I was tired anyway. “Fast fucking flea…” Shizu-chan muttered as he lied down next to me. I pawed the air lazily. “You’re so mean~~…” I muttered, moving to lean my head on Shizu-chan’s chest as he pulled up the covers. “It’s so cold tonight…” I muttered, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close as he planted a kiss on my forehead. Why was he so warm? I allowed myself to take in his warmth, and I found that it was so, so relaxing… So soothing…
**Shizuo’s P.O.V** **The next day…**
I opened my eyes slowly, pulling the small, pale body closer to me. He squirmed a bit, but his eyes remained closed, and he inched closer to me, his head on my shoulder…
Wait a sec… WHAT?!
In less than a second, I was out of the bed, staring at the pale persona with confusion, and mild anger. The head of black hair hit the pillow suddenly, and his red eyes snapped open. “Sh-Shizu-chan…?” He asked tiredly as he sat up. “What the hell are you doing in my bed, Izaya?!” I yelled, but he just looked at me, confused. “You made me stay here, remember…?” Izaya asked, but I merely glared at him. “I meant on the couch!” I yelled back, and Izaya yawned as he stood. He gave me that signature smirk, and I felt my eyes narrow. “You didn’t complain about it when you pulled up the covers~~.” Izaya argued, and I looked away, unable to look him directly in the eye. “I was tired, so shut up.” I argued. Izaya merely sighed, walking past me. “That’s so like you, Shizu-chan~~.” He teased, scooping up his jeans and heading into the bathroom. “I’m having a shower, then leaving.” He assured, closing the door. Because I’d had a shower last night, I didn’t intend on having one this morning, anyway. I looked at the calendar, having already forgotten what day it was…
My only day off, and I had Izaya in my house. This was great. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. I turned my attention to the bathroom door, which I never heard him lock. Who cares! I was strong enough to knock that thing down even if he did lock it. I grinned, listening to the running water. I chuckled a little as I took off my shirt.
This was going to be good…!